I enjoyed the quietness of nature after I woke up. It gave me the space and silence I needed to do some soul searching. I remembered the feeling I had a couple of hours ago, when I got into my car. The longing for peace, love and enjoying eachothers company. I hadn't had that for a long long time.

Why couldn't I keep something that was good? Filled with frustration I pushed my hands against my face.

I tried to fix my relationship with Frank before, but then, eventually I'd screw it up, because of the rage. I couldn't control it. Maybe I should try therapy, maybe I should be the one to take sedatives. Why not? I got up and started pacing around. If I took the valium, there wouldn't be a Maniac Mandy. She would be kept quiet in the back of my head and not hurt Frank anymore. I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders and looked at the pile of stones where Frank was buried. I could get him out of there, and confess that I'd had problems and...

I stormed to the rocks and started pushing them away, throwing stones aside and rolling them over. It was heavy work, and it didn't go very fast. But I clenched my teeth and dug my way in. Suddenly I saw a piece of a dirty blue sweater, a hand and a little while later a bruised face. A smile lit up my face and I gently caressed his cheeck with my finger. When I got all the rocks off of him, I dragged him towards the tent.

I was already preparing diner of the tiny gasstove, when Frank started to move. I took the pan off the fire and sat next to him. Frank slowly opened his eyes and stared blankly at me.
"Hey, sweetheart." I whispered. He blinked and smiled faintly. I waited a while, untill he could sit up and drink some soup. I told him he'd stumbled and fell down a ledge, but that he was allright now.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You must've been worried sick." He muttered. I nodded, dirty lyer that I am.
"That's okay, I'm just glad you're allright now." We hugged, and then I took a deep breath. "You know, Frank, I realise that we've had problems lately. That I can be mad, and agressive, have a really bad temper. I know that's a problem, and I've decided that I want to work at it, that maybe I can take a sedative, learn to control my anger. I really don't want to loose you, honey." Tears came into my eyes, and this time I didn't feel like a lyer. I felt so much love for this man, I wanted to be near him forever. I saw the same thing in his eyes.
"I'm so happy you see the problem now. It'll be much better if your anger is under control. I hope the sedatives will work." He said.
"Yes. I realised I must've hurt you so much with the way I speak and act. I don't want that anymore, so... I'll go to the pharmacist first thing tomorrow." He smiled, and then we decided to sleep in the tent one more night, and drive home the next day.

Frank got up and stretched his arms and legs. He walked around, shrugged and shook his head. I started cleaning the pan with a little water from a bottle and clearing up the things we used for eating.

Frank came by the mess of rocks and boulders where I'd dug him up, he kneeled and stared at something. I felt a pinch of concern and yelled at him: "What is it honey? What is there?"
Frank didn't answer, but reached out his hand and seemed to touch the ground. He threw me a cautious glance and then stared at the hill, the rocks and what was on the ground. Suddenly he stood up.
"Oh, oh no." He moaned. "This can't be true."

I felt panic in my stomach, jumped up and ran towards him. What was it that he had seen on the ground? He looked at me with fear in his eyes and stepped backwards, his hand raised in defence. "Don't come near me, you creature of Satan." He whispered. Frank followed me with his eyes, as I slowly walked past him to the rocks. There I saw a torn piece of his shirt under a boulder, and a large pool of blood, that had soaked the ground. It clearly didn't come from a little scratch, it had come from an arterial bleed.Like when an arm or leg had been crushed by a rock. An accident which someone couldn't have survived, or at least not be able to walk around and stretch your arms and legs. I stood there a moment, dumbfounded. I didn't know what to do or so, I kept my eyes on the ground. My thoughts raced through my head, but I felt paralyzed.

"So this is who you really are. This is what you just called: "I'm a little agressive."" His voice sounded as if he could loose it any minute. "You know, I seriously considered giving you another chance when I walked around. But then I saw this!" He pointed to the blood on the ground. "I first didn't understand, but suddenly, the memories washed over me, as if a curtain was lifted from my brain. I saw. I knew. It all came back." He took a deep breath and then stepped towards me, with a dangerous flicker in his eye. "It... All came back to me, Mandy."

I couldn't ignore the threat in his voice and looked up. His face was red, and his mouth distorted from anger.
"I... I... I don't want to do that anymore, Frank." My voice did not came from Maniac Mandy, it came from a very scared girl.
"It's a little too late for regret, Mandy. I mean, how many times did you already kill me, woman? Don't you have a heart or something?" He pushed my chest real hard, so that I stumbled backwards. "You must be a monster. And I hate you."